INTRO TO “ODE TO GARO” (created and spoken by Steve Stark)
The energy electric, energetic-
Maybe kinetic- most definitely eclectic.
Would this be a time for some poorly phrased rhymes?
Since the subject is so sublime.
Would it be so wrong for a little song?
If it wasn’t too long?
Thank you Corvallis rain-
How insane-What a pain- he’s got sprains, she complains
This songs in vain, cause I’m no Wayne…
Old man look at your life,
64 and there’s so much more-
Living here in paradise
And that makes me think of you-
..it was raining hard, in Corvallis-
I needed one line to make my song-
And I thought, how old is Gary?
And I thought what song would do?
Then I thought of the miles, I thought the smiles,
And I knew what I had to do…
ODE TO GARO (created and sung by Steve Stark to the tune of Billy Joel’s “Piano Man”)
Well it’s 5 o’clock and it’s Sunday-
And Ann’s not really sure where he’s been-
There’s an old man sitting next to me,
And it’s time that we EMbarrass him.
I said “Gary! Stop thinking about your memory”
No one really knows where it goes-
It’s bad and it’s sad, your feet don’t smell very sweet,
And please- stop touching your nose!”
It’s friends he’s among- he’s a happy man-
We’re not really sure why she chose,
But he likes to eat sweets, and he likes his red meat,
And there’s trouble getting into his clothes.
Now Gene and Steve are pals of his-
They are friends of the first degree-
Let’s hope I don’t croak, or him suffer a stroke-
And insult all these retirees.
Then Gary says “Stop singing, this is killing me!”
And all the color ran from his face-
I said I can’t, I came too far,
And I am a mental case.”
Now Ann likes to escape, as a therapist-
But she is a wonderful wife-
And Gary’s talking real crazy, and he is kinda lazy-
And probably will be for life.
Now Gary has lots of stuff to fix,
But sometimes the projects get postponed,
So they’re sharing a drink in their new kitchen,
But it’s better than breaking hipbones.
It’s a pretty good bet, he thinks its Saturday,
And Gary Custer he gives me a frown-
And by the time I count three, he’ll try to choke me
To forget about this song for a while.
And his teeth they’re shaped like a carnivore-
And his face is shaped a little queer,
One good ear, what-the hell,
If your nose likes to smell
“I say man, don’t come around here.”
Well I’m proud to say he’s a friend of mine
But sometimes he can’t wait ‘til I go.